It's not what, it's why

Whenever someone tells me they have a problem with a certain type of food or drink, I immediately ask them why they think this.

Usually, it goes something like this:  I eat chocolate every day…  Or I have a glass of wine most nights.

So is this a problem?  It depends.

The question isn’t what you’re doing, it’s always why you are doing it.  If you are having a square of chocolate to finish off a meal because you enjoy ending your eating with something sweet, no problem.  But if you are wolfing down a whole chocolate bar, mid-afternoon, because you need to distract yourself from your workload, that’s a problem.

Most of us emotional eaters are using food to change our emotional state.  And that is problematic. In fact, anything you do to avoid feeling an emotion (shopping, working, scrolling social media) that gives you a negative consequence (makes you feel guilt, shame, disappointment, annoyed, frustrated, etc with yourself) is worth changing.

So how do you start changing?

1. You must acknowledge what you are doing.  But, you must NOT hate yourself for the habit.  You CANNOT change from a place of hate. Recognize that every unwanted habit we have worked for us at some point.  We don’t do things that don’t serve us.

2. Thank yourself for making that choice in the past (it did help at one time)and decide what choice your future self would make.

3. Meet yourself where you are.  There is a whole range of improvements you can make from where you are to where you want to be.  Pick the next smallest improvement and start there.

And if you need more help, schedule a free call with me.  I have space to take on a few more 1:1 coaching clients and I'd love to have you!